One of the hardest decisions we make as parents is how to handle childcare. In the United States especially, maternity leave is wildly short and childcare is so expensive. Aside from that, we have to decide on who we trust with our precious little miracles that we just carried inside of us for the last 9 months and love more than anything in the world. The task is daunting and if you’re anything like me, was on my mind since the moment I found out I was pregnant.

My ultimate decision was to be a stay-at-home mom. At the time that I made this decision, I had just left my teaching career and was working as a part-time receptionist, so I was already on the fence about which direction to go with my career. While it may seem like an easy decision, there are definitely pros and cons to being a stay-at-home mom that you may want to consider before making the decision for yourself. 

Pros

1. It’s a money saver

When I did the math, daycare simply didn’t make sense. We set a budget with just my husband’s income that covered all of our monthly bills and loans. Essentially, any money I make goes towards paying my credit card payments, spending money, etc. Being that I had just left a career and would be starting with an entry-level position wherever I ended up, my salary would essentially be going towards childcare with a *little* extra money leftover each month. That extra little bit of money (and believe me, it was really not a lot) wasn’t worth sacrificing time with my baby. Not to mention, she’s our first and hopefully not our last. Having two children in need of full-time childcare where we live would essentially be wiping out my salary, if not losing us money. To me, time at home is more valuable than that bit of extra money each month. 

2. You know your child is safe

While I’m aware it may not be as wide-scale as social media makes you believe, I’m always saddened by the daycare/ childcare horror stories that I hear. I always remind myself that while there may be people who come close, no one will ever love your child as much as you do. This thought is both reassuring to me, but also scared the living daylights out of me. While maybe unlikely, I feared that my child wouldn’t get the same attention and patience that I could offer her at home. I was also in fear that she would get sick more frequently from being around other kids all the time, so I felt much more peaceful keeping her at home with me. 

3. You’re there for all of the milestones

I say kind of because, let’s be honest, kids do things whenever and wherever they want. I could have been doing the dishes while my daughter rolled over for the first time or on a not-so-frequent outing by myself when she decided to say “Mama” for the first time. Thankfully, I wasn’t, but you get my point. However, being home with her I have a much better chance at not missing those milestone moments which is something that I felt I needed to be present for. 

4. The house & family are organized

If there’s one thing I excel at, it’s organization. Have a bachelorette party that needs an itinerary? I’m your girl. We’re going out for drinks and dinner on Friday? I’ll make a reservation. My Mother’s Day gift was a Skylight calendar, need I say more? While my house is currently in organized chaos due to an upcoming move, I have time in a day to get done basic household chores without feeling overly burnt out or like I’m sacrificing more time with my baby to keep my house in order.

I also never need to take time off of work to take my baby or myself to doctor’s appointments, etc. or, again, have to sacrifice even more time with my baby to get myself to any appointments. I am able to coordinate appointments and plans for our whole family, including my husband, that doesn’t conflict with his work schedule and doesn’t require him to take time away from his work day to make calls with insurance companies, doctors, and more. These tasks, which can become stressful when working full time, simply have become my job and I have hours in the day to get them done, stress-free. 

Cons

1. Making ends meet can be hard

I’m not blind to the fact that I don’t have a steady income and that, as a family, we are limited by living on one income. I also understand that a lot of moms simply don’t have the option not to work because of income, benefits, what have you. For me, it came down to two things: a budget and what brought me peace. I had to weigh the pros and cons and decide for myself what brought me the most peace, which ultimately led to assuring my daughter’s safety and how she was being shown patience and affection on a daily basis. I had to give up a lot of luxuries and it is something I still struggle with, but knowing that she is being raised that way I want her to is worth that sacrifice. 

2. You miss out on a sense of professionalism

I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t a tough one for me. As a stay-at-home mom there really is no sense of accomplishment that comes with being in a professional work environment. In my career, I was someone who thrived on a deadline and took immense pride in my organization and professionalism. I have found myself becoming disorganized and forgetful which drives me crazy to no end. There are also days where I simply crave adult interaction and stimulating conversation which you definitely do not get talking to a nine month old all day. 

3. You repeat the same day over and over…and over

Whether or not you love your job, I think just about everyone looks forward to the weekends as a time to relax with family and do fun things. However, as a stay-at-home mom, your job never ends because you don’t get that “break from work”. There is never a mental health day, sick day, holiday, etc. that doesn’t include the same tasks you do each and every day. When you meet up with friends and they talk about their new promotion or an exciting new project, it can feel very isolating knowing that is something you won’t achieve because your days are all the same.  

4. Limited social interaction for baby

This is one I struggle with the most. I do my best to make sure that my daughter is interacting with other children, but it can be very hard. It’s difficult not to notice babies younger than her reaching their milestones quicker because of the social interaction they receive at daycare. While I try to make sure she has time with her older cousin and babies of other friends, it’s just not realistic to arrange on a daily basis as everyone has their own lives. She really depends on me for the bulk of her social interaction and that can be very mentally exhausting. 

What are your pros and cons to being a SAHM? How are you handling your transition out of the workforce and into the home?