Motherhood is a beautiful and demanding journey. You’re a new person getting to know a whole new baby. So many mothers let themselves slip to a lower priority as they care for a baby, and while that’s normal and natural, it can go too far. Mom’s are forgetting themselves and sacrificing their health on the alter of motherhood. That’s not necessary and not how it should be!

A phrase that I heard in my first postpartum period that has stuck with me ever since is,

“You can’t take care of him if you don’t take care of yourself.”

It’s so true. You want to give your baby the best. You want to take care of them. To do that, you must also take care of yourself so you can offer your baby the best version of yourself.

Here are some practical tips to help you find balance and prioritize self-care in your busy new-mom-life.

1. Set Realistic Expectations:

Understand that you can’t do it all. You can do a lot, but not all. It’s okay and even necessary at times to ask for help. Tell your partner what you need. Call on your village or close-by family. Prioritize what truly matters. Consider letting some things slide off your plate to make room for others.

2. Create a Routine That Includes ‘Me’ Time:

Allocate time each day for self-care, even if it’s just for a few minutes. It could be reading a book, taking a short walk, or practicing mindfulness, anything that allows your mind to take a break from the constant worry and caring for your new baby. This can happen during nap time or while someone else holds your baby for a few minutes. I know it’s hard to fathom letting someone else take charge but just a few minutes to no be “in mom mode” can reset your mind for the whole day!

3. Delegate Tasks:

Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your partner, family, or trusted friends. Delegate responsibilities to lighten your load. Washing dishes can be handled by anyone around you. Cooking dinner can be outsourced. It might not be done the way you expect, but if it’s getting done, allow someone else to handle it.

4. Embrace Imperfection:

You’re doing an amazing job, even if things aren’t always perfect. Embrace the messy moments and focus on the love you’re giving to your child. Clean kitchens and tidy homes will have their place again. But often that place is not in early motherhood.

5. Prioritize Sleep and Nutrition:

Taking care of your physical health is essential. Make sure you’re getting enough rest and nourishing your body with balanced meals. I know that is easier said than done as sleep is hard to come by and food takes time and energy to prepare. But rest can happen while Baby does tummy time or even while you snuggle baby. Sometimes just allowing your body to recline and relax is enough to feel refreshed. As for Nutrition, just remember that eating lunch is far more important than cleaning the kitchen. Refilling your water glass should take priority over folding that laundry. It is ok to take care of your physical health over all else.

6. Connect with Other Moms:

In this day of social media, there is almost no excuse to not have a mom village in some regard. Even a virtual support group can help keep a new mom grounded. Join a local mom’s group or online community; somewhere you can share your struggles, find helpful suggestions, or even just 2 am encouragement. I’ve met some of my most loving and supportive friends on Instagram.

7. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude:

Take a moment each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for. Focusing on the good rather than the hard is such a simple way to reframe your mind and keep the love hormones flowing! Practicing this type of mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the small joys of motherhood rather than slipping into a place where all you see are your shortcomings and failures. Every mom has areas where she excels and areas where she lacks. Focus on where you excel and the others won’t seem so bad.

8. Set Boundaries:

It’s okay to say ‘No’ to a social engagement when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Prioritizing your well-being and setting boundaries will protect your time and energy. Whether it’s visitors coming over or your mother-in-law inviting you to dinner, you are allowed to say ‘No’. Try a gentle letdown like, “We aren’t quite ready for that, but let us know for next time!” or “Thank you for the offer but we just can’t accommodate that right now.” and let that be enough. Those who love you will understand.

So my dear New Mama,

Always Remember that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s a crucial part of being the best mom you can be. By incorporating these self-care tips into your routine, you’ll not only nurture yourself but also create a more balanced and fulfilling motherhood experience that will benefit you and your new baby.