Dear Soon-to-be-Mama-of-Two,
I know you are feeling a plethora of emotions right now. You are excited to meet your second born, to find out exactly who it is you’ve been sharing your body with for almost a year. You are excited to, somewhat, get your body back and be able to see your feet again. You are looking forward to being a family of four, it is something you and your partner have yearned for. You can’t wait to experience those newborn snuggles again, that newborn smell, and those adorable newborn scrunches and stretches. You can’t wait to watch your first born, become a big sibling. Oh yeah, your first born….
You are sad tonight is your last night with your number one. You are nervous that maybe he/she doesn’t even fully understand or know just how big of a change your family is about to undergo. You are anxious at the idea of being away from your first born for a few nights. Nobody knows exactly how to care for them or love them like you do Mama. You want to soak up every snuggle that you can get. You want to delay bedtime, because once you put him/her to bed tonight, that means it’s real. You want to hear every story he/she wants to tell you today, listen to every word they mispronounce. You want to just stare at them, remember every feature of their tiny body and face. You feel overwhelmed with love for your first born. Savor every moment tonight Mama, because all of a sudden, overnight, your little one, just won’t be this little anymore…
The hospital stay will be hard, your heart will feel torn in two. You have this new little miracle curled up on your chest, and at the same time you just can’t help but think about your first born. The FaceTimes and phone calls are nice, but you want to be home to engulf that first baby in your arms, and make sure they know, you have not and will not ever forget them. At the same time, the hospital stay feels like a vacation, because you aren’t chasing after a little one, nobody is calling your name over and over and over and over again, you can use the bathroom in peace, you can eat a hot meal, you and your partner can have conversations or just sit in silence. (Both are nice!) All of these feelings can and will exist at the same time.
I know right now you are trying to stay strong, and not show your little one all of your tears. I know the pit in your stomach at the thought of what the next few days will look like for you and your family. I know you are triple checking your lists, even if it is just to keep your mind distracted from all of the anxiety hidden within. I know all of these emotions can be overwhelming and you don’t know if you are crying tears of happiness or sadness at this point – It most likely is a combination of the two.
Mama, I know you have a list a mile long of all fears – how will I manage two kids?! Who will bring the first born to school? How am I going to get everyone fed and out the door on time? Will my first born resent me? When will I manage one-on-one time with my first born? My baby? My partner? How do I keep up with laundry and dishes? The list goes on. Let me tell you something…you will crush it.
Somehow your heart really does double when you have a second baby. Your first born doesn’t resent you, and watching them become a big sibling was more than you could ever hoped for. Sure, there are hard moments, the tears don’t stop right away, but you are managing it all. That’s what moms do, and you are doing a dang good job. Yes, things are different than they used to be, harder than they used to be too, but you figure it out. You always do.
But right now, tonight, feel all of the feelings, the sadness, the excitement and everything in between. Look forward to tomorrow, but embrace the heavy feeling of tonight. Your life is going to change, but change for the better. Your little one gets to take on their most important job, being a big sibling. You get to watch a lifelong friendship blossom right in front of your eyes. You aren’t “ruining your family,” like you once felt you were, you are adding the perfect missing piece into your already chaotic puzzle. Congratulations to you Mama (x2!) and prepare for your most beautiful journey to date.
Signed,
Your Future (slightly more tired, but double-y loved) Self
I’ll be the first comment I see so many faces from so many places but I know em all by name and I spy with my 👁️ everything… Where oh where may my babies be … Tick tok soon you will here the knocks so get on your shoes and socks for you will soon be kicking rocks