One postpartum feeling I wasn’t prepared for, even as a second time mom, was how much I wouldn’t feel “at home” in my postpartum body. Sure I knew there would be extra weight that might linger, especially in that immediate postpartum period. But then I expected things to mostly go back to normal. That was pretty much what happened with my first and I figured the second would be about the same.
Yes, most of the weight has come off and looking at me you might think I’ve “bounced back”. But that is not how I feel when I look in the mirror or try to find clothes in my closet. I had slightly more advanced distasis recti this go around and it has been a slower recovery in that department. Leaving me with a pretty prominent “mom pooch” that makes me feel like I’m sporting a 4 month pregnant belly. And of course my clothes just aren’t fitting the way I want.
Even though my weight has gone back to its pre pregnancy state- things have settled differently and my body just isn’t the same. A feeling I’m sure many of you can relate to. So my favorite jeans fit weird, my formerly frequently worn tops hug my stomach too tightly, and it feels like even my stretchiest pants don’t flatter me the way they used to.
But even more than all of this is just the fact that I have found myself more uncomfortable in my own skin than I have ever been. And because I knew that there wasn’t going to be some magic trick to get my body looking and feeling how I want, I knew I needed to do some things to make friends with the body I have in the meantime.
Wardrobe Adjustment
I started by treating myself to some new clothes. Rather than squeeze myself into something that isn’t comfortable and doesn’t make me feel good about myself I decided to pick up a few new things that fit the body I have. Maybe I’ll stay this shape/size, in which case I need clothes that fit. Or maybe things will continue to shift and I’ll be back in the old ones again in a few months. Either way, there didn’t seem to be any reason to be unhappy in the meantime. So I found a few things that I could mix and match and feel good in. I bought a few things myself and did a couple subscription boxes with a stylist to help me find some quality pieces.
Find Other Confidence Boosters
I started spending a few extra minutes doing other things to help me feel better and more confident overall. I’m figuring out how I like to do my hair, embracing my natural curls, learning a couple new ways to style it etc. I’m also spending 5 extra minutes to do a quick and easy makeup routine and indulging in some new skincare etc. These feel like very surface level things to focus on but they allow me to feel more put together on a regular basis which is giving me a confidence boost I was looking for.
Focus on Health
It can be so easy to get hung up on the numbers and the mirror. But I know that what really matters is being the healthiest I can be for my two little ones. And that in the long run, being my healthiest will help how I feel both inside and out. I’m trying to focus on moving my body regularly and also paying a bit more attention to what I’m putting in my body. I had been on a bit of a sugar kick post pregnancy. Now I’m trying to focus on adding more protein to my diet, drinking more water and choosing healthy snacks. Reframing my health goals and refocusing on what is important is helping me stay more positive during this season.
Speaking Kindly
It is very tempting to speak unkindly to yourself when you’re not happy with how you look. But I have been working hard to remind myself that my body has done some amazing things over the last 2 and half years. It has grown, birthed and nourished two humans and that is awesome. Don’t get me wrong, this is a hard narrative to focus on. My head is much more quick to point out something I don’t like or something I wish was different. By keeping the reality of what my body has done the focus of my thoughts, it makes me feel better about where I am.
It’s a work in progress. But slowly and surely, I’ve been settling into this new skin and feeling more like myself.