As our oldest turns 3, the flood of birthday party invitations has begun. As a first-time mom navigating this new phase, I found myself asking more experienced parents a lot of questions about birthday party etiquette. To make this journey a bit easier, I’ve compiled a list of tips to help you navigate this new territory with ease.
- You Don’t Need to Invite Everyone
It’s not always practical (or possible) to invite the entire class. For example, my toddler’s class has 15 kids. Add in nine cousins, plus aunts, uncles, and grandparents, and a birthday party—especially an indoor one—would be a logistical nightmare. If your child does want to invite a few friends from school, instead of handing out invites at school, reach out to the parents directly to keep things smooth and respectful.
2. Guests
If your child is invited to a party, don’t assume that siblings are included. Generally, the child plus one parent is the norm unless otherwise specified by the host.
3. Gifts
In a society where we all seem to have too much stuff, stating “no presents, just your presence” on an invitation is perfectly acceptable. If your child does receive gifts, the general etiquette is to send a thank-you note, no matter when your child opens the present—before, during, or after the party.
4. Party Favors
Don’t feel pressured to provide extravagant party favors if they’re outside your budget or just seem like too much. If you do decide to include them, keep things simple and affordable with items like snacks, bubbles, or sidewalk chalk.
5. Leave or Stay?
As kids grow, drop-off parties become more common. It’s important to make this clear on the invitation, and always ensure you have a reliable contact for every child. Also, let parents know the party’s start and end times so they can plan accordingly. And if you’re the one dropping off your child, be sure to pick them up on time!
The more I learn about this whole birthday party world, the more I realize that there’s no one right way to do it. Every family has their own approach, and the best thing we can do is show up with kindness and respect for the host’s preferences. As our first birthday season rolls on, I’m realizing that it’s not about perfection—it’s about making memories, fostering friendships, and navigating these moments with grace and flexibility.